I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
last night I used snow as a chaser
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