That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
