Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
What a dumb baby whore.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
