Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
