Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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