I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize