DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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