what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
