I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you didnt know i had herpes?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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