Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
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You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
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You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day