things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
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we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
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I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"