I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.