I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
