apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
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so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.