Where did you get a picture of my penis
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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