Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like