listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
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I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
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That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?