what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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