so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
