What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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