8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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