The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
