Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
