new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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