I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
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Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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