So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
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Threesome in a minivan. New low
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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