Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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