is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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