i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Your penis caused this!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
