Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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