I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
