I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
