It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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