I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
