Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
