The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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