Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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