Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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