i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
