just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
