How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
