Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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