so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
