I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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