you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
