The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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