I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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