I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Pooping to opera.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
