where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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