I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
