Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Blow job season was short but glorious.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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