I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
