I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize