I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
