If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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