but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
