What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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