I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
