if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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