so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
