My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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