PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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