So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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