i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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