He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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