hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize