No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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