So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
