i permit you to call me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
where are you?
Hypothermia
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Randomize
