I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
